Stopping the bullies: a guide for parents and carers
Frequently asked questions about bullying, for parents and carers
Camden does not tolerate bullying or harassment of any kind. All learners in our schools and centres are of equal worth and should be enabled to enjoy their time in school and achieve their potential. Every Camden school has an anti-bullying policy, and uses it to reduce and prevent bullying. You can ask the school office for a copy.
Bullying behaviour includes:
- name calling and nasty teasing
- threats and extortion, verbally and by texting
- physical violence
- damage to belongings
- leaving pupils out of social activities deliberately and frequently
- spreading malicious rumours.
Parents and families have an important part to play in helping schools deal with bullying. You can:
- show your child how to deal with situations without 'hitting' back
- watch out for signs that your child is being bullied or is bullying others - common symptoms include headaches, stomach aches, anxiety and irritability - contact the class teacher immediately if you are worried
What should I do if my child is being bullied?
- calmly talk to your child about it, and make a note of what your child says about those involved, and where and what has happened, and how often incidents have occurred
- explain that any further incidents should be reported to a teacher immediately
- make an appointment to see your child’s class tutor, form or year tutor, and explain the problems that your child is experiencing
- everybody gets angry; help your child to express it without hurting others. Don’t tell them to hit back.
How do I recognise if my child is being bullied?
If your child is being bullied they may talk about it or they may:
- look less happy or be reluctant to come to school
- complain of being unwell
- avoid certain children or activities
- change their behaviour, eg, tantrums, wetting or sleeping problems
- be unwilling to talk about their day
- come home with cuts and bruises
- not want to wear their glasses
- take things from home to give to other children, these things can happen for other reasons but they can be a sign of bullying.
What do I do if the problem continues?
- ask to see the school’s anti bullying procedures
- discuss your concerns with the parent governor(s) at your child’s school
- make an appointment to see the headteacher, keeping a record of the meeting
- if you still feel your concerns are not being addressed, write to the Chair of Governors explaining your concerns and what you would like to see happen.
How can I deal with bullying behaviour?
Talking is the best way to stop bullying. If you think your child may be involved in bullying you must:
- try to get your child to talk about it
- help your child to tell someone at school
- see your child’s teacher
- ask for help
- persist until it is sorted out.
What if I think my child may be involved in bullying?
- don’t tell your child to hit back
- don’t try to tackle other children or parents yourself
- don’t keep quiet about it – see the class teacher or head, even if your child is worried about it
getting worse.
What if my child is a bully?
It often comes as a big surprise to parents/ carers that their child could be a bully. It may be hard to spot although they may come home with toys and things that you have not bought for them. There are many reasons why some young people bully others. Sometimes it’s because they are copying someone else at school or elsewhere, or being encouraged to bully. Or it might be because they are going through a difficult time at home or because they haven’t learnt other ways of mixing with children at school.
It is very important to deal with these kinds of issues straight away. You should:
- talk with your child and explain why bullying is wrong
- make an appointment to speak to someone, a class/ form teacher for example, to talk about how the bullying can be dealt with
- ensure that your child feels safe at home
- call someone or look through some of the information online as listed below.
Contact:
Local Camden help:
Young Victims of Bullying and Crime, Camden Victim Support
Provides free and confidential emotional support and practical guidance to young victims of bullying or crime, in person and via a dedicated young persons free phone number 0800 731 5801.
Other useful websites and telephone numbers:
Advisory Centre for Education
Advice line for parents and children.
Phone: 020 7354 8321 (Monday to Friday 2–5pm).
Anti-bullying campaign
Advice line for parents and children.
Phone: 020 7378 1446
Bullying online
Website: www.bullying.co.uk
Bullying Prevention Project
Phone: 020 7424 1602 and 020 7424 1638
Aims to find solutions to bullying in playgrounds, parks, open spaces, schools and estates. The project is based in Euston, Regent’s Park and Kings Cross areas.
Children’s Legal Centre
Publications and free advice line on legal issues.
Phone: 01206 873820. (Monday to Friday 10am–12.30 and 2pm–4.30pm).
Childline
Phone: 0800 1111 (24 hours a day)
Website: www.childline.org.uk
Joint Action against Homophobic Bullying
Phone: 01392 201018
Kidscape
Phone: 020 730 3300
Bullying counsellor available Monday to Friday 10am–4pm with information for young people, parents and teachers.
Parentline Plus
Phone: 0808 800222
National helpline for parents (Monday to Friday 9am–9pm, Saturday 9.30am–5pm, Sunday 10am–3pm).
Police website on bullying
Website: www.met.police.uk/youngpeople/bullying.htm
Camden Local Authority
Phone: Complaints Liaison Officer on 020 7974 1501
Provides advice on making complaints in schools.
Department for Education & Skills
Website: www.dfes.gov.uk/bullying for information and resources to do with bullying.